Life goals

My sister with her 14 year old daughter came over to sort through the clothes and shoes that I've decided to handover. As my niece was trying on some dresses, a sense of nostalgia swept over us as we remember how svelte we were 20 pounds ago. Hehe.

Two piles were formed after the sorting.ritual. Pile number one are those that are readily wearable. Pile number two however were classified as "life goals". Yep! The clothes that you think will fit you once you give up some (or all) of your food and beverage binging. With a little (read as -a lot!) exercise and good amount of sleep. Haisst!  Easier said than done.

But then that's how life goes. We lose and we gain.  We fight but there are circumstances when we surrender for something that's better. We give more than we take as the sense of fulfillment is much greater. And we live to do good so that we can peacefully perish.

Nowadays, what I want to do are less complicated. I take things one day at a time. Cleaned my closet of unused clothes and shoes. Organized my things. I am learning how to draw by connecting the dots! Brushing up on my writing. Catching up on my reading. Things that I have not done for a long while as I have been traveling and working most of the time.

Funny how things play out just so that I may have simpler but equally enjoyable Life Goals.  😊

(Dis)Connecting the dots

Forgot to charge my phone before I slept and so I woke up with the thing quite dead. Charged it immediately and when I turned it on the first message I got is from my uber caring boss J.

He asked how am I doing after my mastectomy as it has been three days since the procedure. He also reminded me of his number one directive before I took my medical leave... "Are you able to disconnect?"  He wants me to focus on myself and in getting better and there is no other way he says but for me to disconnect from work, thus his kinda weird question. 

See I have this fomo (fear of missing out) and it has fueled me all my working life to be always on top of things.  It has worked to my advantage but yeah not so much to others nor to my team. I bet they're relieved of  not receiving so many emails, lync calls or chats from me. Hehe.

As I've been on leave from work for a week and I am so damn bored. I organized my home office yesterday and threw away a lot of stuff.  And in between rests ... (you guessed it right!) I checked my email to know what's going on in the workspace! 😉

But no and yes I was able to restrain myself! Just sent some requests to HR for my medical expense reimbursements, leave pay, etc. Other than that I was careful not to join the conversations. It took some effort but am getting there (believe me!). 

Ironically today in order for me to "disconnect" I did a lot of connecting. Don't shake your head in dismay yet...  With the help of my daughter Alia we completed a connect 1000 dots artwork of Alfred Hitchcock's portrait.  Loved the outcome! (see finished product below). 

One portrait down 19 to go.  Cool.

Lazarus pit

I just finished season 4 of Arrow. Yup! Got caught (rather late) by the craze of said series. Must admit before - I found it more weepy  than the Flash but now I like them both. The series helped me endure through my own "life drama" while I was confined at the hospital.

Been diagnosed with stage 2 cancer. Had a tumor in my left breast so I had to undergo total mastectomy. And yeah it feels like I've just been dipped in the Lazarus pit.  In case you're not getting the connection, the series used the pit to resurrect people but the catch is that once you get out alive you'll not be the same person. Thus the reference.

Now out from the "pit", I feel like a cyborg.   I have a plastic tube running down my side. At the end of the tube is a grenade-shaped catch that collects the fluids from my removed left breast. Have to drain and monitor level of fluid every 4 hours. It's kinda icky but it keeps me busy. I have to present the record to my doctor when I get to see her in 4 days time.  I don't think it's that important though. Most probably she asked me to do it just so I have something to put my mind into.

Am I the same person then? I do not know. A lot of uncertainty still. But what I know is that I am bored and I want to do something that will get me out of this rut. My former boss advised  that I again pursue my writing and my former subordinate, now confidant and friend reminded me of this blog. Agreed with them totally. Writing has always been my therapy.

So am back. sha sha.