My 13 year old daughter Alia gave me a shocker one night. She told me that a boy schoolmate of hers asked if they can go steady and she in turn asked if it is alright with me. Uh oh! (I knew there would be days like these being a mother to a teenager -but it still caught me off-guard!) My immediate answer was of course no. It was actually a resounding NO! NO! NO! in my head but I tried to keep it cool as I did not want to alienate her. I actually had mixed feelings about it as I was proud that she was so honest to tell me her concern but was also a little irritated as I was expecting that she would have said no to the guy outright. But then, being a teen nowadays is just not that easy. Sabi nga ng ating mga ka-friendster "it's complicated". So I asked her if she understood why I gave a negative answer and she said no. Haay...
I therefore proceeded to explain that my take on the issue is -I feel that she will be confining herself too soon to just one boy. That it will take so much of her teenage life and thus might miss out on her socializing with others be it boys or girls. Moreover, I told her in a follow-up discussion that she should be concentrating more on her studies as she needs to maintain good grades to continue enjoying her science high school "scholarship". With that, she said it is ok and that she will talk to the guy about her decision.
After a few days, my wonderful Alia gave feedback that she already discussed the matter with the concerned party and the boy accepted that they just stick it out as friends.
Whew! When I was a teen I never thought that concerns like that was vexing to my mom. Only now do I understand the stress that I subject my parents to. Whoever said that "you will be able to truly appreciate your parents only when you become a parent yourself" is definitely a parent.
