Today is dad's death anniversary. It has been 9 years.
I remember the burden and confusion that I felt when I found out from his doctor that he has 3 to 4 days to live. How the heck am I going to tell my mom about it??? I cannot remember though how I was able to go through that ordeal. It was numbing. His hospital bills and medicine ate up whatever savings that I had. I was so engrossed in thinking on how will I get the funds to support all the costs involved. When he died, I felt more the relief than the pain of losing someone. No tears fell from my eyes and the guilt that went with it lingered.
It was tough to carry on that way until I confessed to a priest during a teambuilding session in Tagaytay. He said that I was but human and the feeling of relief was normal. "You did everything you can during the time that he needed it and that is more than enough" the priest said. And it was only then that I cried.
I asked for forgiveness from my dad and from God. I told myself that for my mom, I will not worry about the money leaving my pocket. Help will come as I have experienced so many times in dire situations - God does provide.
I remember the burden and confusion that I felt when I found out from his doctor that he has 3 to 4 days to live. How the heck am I going to tell my mom about it??? I cannot remember though how I was able to go through that ordeal. It was numbing. His hospital bills and medicine ate up whatever savings that I had. I was so engrossed in thinking on how will I get the funds to support all the costs involved. When he died, I felt more the relief than the pain of losing someone. No tears fell from my eyes and the guilt that went with it lingered.
It was tough to carry on that way until I confessed to a priest during a teambuilding session in Tagaytay. He said that I was but human and the feeling of relief was normal. "You did everything you can during the time that he needed it and that is more than enough" the priest said. And it was only then that I cried.
I asked for forgiveness from my dad and from God. I told myself that for my mom, I will not worry about the money leaving my pocket. Help will come as I have experienced so many times in dire situations - God does provide.
